1434ea8513c4416b86fa4bed33f232eb

Be your own Valentine

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 19:39:12 GMT

Be your own Valentine!

Today is valentines day. Yet another one of those days to use symbols as a substitute for the things the represent. Valentines day, whether by design or accident, is a ploy to sell greeting cards, flowers, and such things in the name of love. So much so that we think: If I don't get something from my partner for valentine's day, the mustn't love me. This has taken on psychotic proportions. We've replaced actual human connection and sensuality with a box of chocolates. This of course, is not a new phenomenon. Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc are all ways to separate you from your money. But even worse to create an obligation to do something and be somewhere merely because an arbitrary calendar tells us, that some day is here.

Our culture has so ingrained the importance of the symbolic into us, that we can hardly tell the difference between our simulated reality and reality itself. Anytime we assume a role, become something, or become somebody, we are, in fact creating a division in ourselves. To live, act, and be, as we truly are requires no commentary, no commentator, and no description. We just are. Our true intrinsic motivation requires no label and (most of the time) no external action. If you have to force yourself to do something all the time, then there is something wrong. Either in that you don't actually want the thing you're forcing yourself to do, that you are stuck on some sort of emotional carousel, or some combination of both.

So you might ask, so what is the solution? There isn't one. Your life can only be lived by you... but if you fall prey to all of these things, you are, in fact, not living your life. If you can find that place, where the words cease, and you can feel life, and yourself, and the world around you without those labels and pictures. A picture is worth a thousand words, but the thing itself without words and pictures is worth billions of both.

Mindfulness

Fri, 13 Oct 2023 09:02:43 GMT

today, the idea and practice of „mindfulness“ has taken on near magical hocus pocus dimensions. We think that mindfulness is some sort of thing we can do, to reduce stress, find life's meaning, or some other such thing. And we meditate trying to find some release from these things. The truth? We are always mindful of something. Regardless of our state. Even when we are asleep our minds are looking at something.

We tend to think, that only thoughts with words are thoughts. So we try and use apps that "guide" us through mindful meditations to "arrive" in the present moment. These things overlook the point. No "arrival" is required. No "guide" or journey is required. We are already there. As a matter of fact, no other moment exists for us. We remember the past, we can plan for the future, and we can think of things that are not here presently, but, in fact, none of those things exist in our present state.

Our culture likes to take things even further than listening to voices that are not there, and give us some sort of "ideal" or "should be" to live up to. Things should be this way or that way. I need to create a better version of myself. All illusions. We latch onto them, because we have an inflated view of our own importance. Our schools tell us how "special" we are, our parents, teachers, and society offers us the proverbial carrot to follow so that we can become some type of hero. The problem? The reward only comes after we die or become some sort of living dead. The deeds we do to get this reward are nearly always something that doesn't come from inside us but was planted there by a well-meaning society. This society is a construct of our minds, but doesn't actually physically exist. We think it is protection against the dangers of nature, but if we are honest, the most dangerous place to be is in a crowd of humans. Both from the violence they could potentially inflict and even the diseases we give each other.

If we could deconstruct the idea of our own specialness and exceptional place in the world, we would find it easier to let go of things that are not actually here, and allow the moment we are actually living to be what it is. Then, we might actually feel our own inner impulses and learn to trust that they are not evil.

Try this: while walking or sitting, just observe. Allow things to be what they are, don't name the things you see, just look at them. Hear the sounds around you, but just hear them, don't name the sounds or the things making the sounds. Feel the clothing on your skin, the air moving around you. Smell the things in the air, see if you can taste the things that are left over in your mouth. The key: don't ask what it is, just perceive. At some point the “inner voices” will slow down or at least become quieter. At this point you can begin to feel different parts of your body. If you are sitting still this will be easier. Move your attention to different parts starting wherever you feel like. Again, don't try to identify the what, just feel. If something causes distress follow it. It might tell you something. Let it show, if there are pictures, sounds, voices, feelings that come to mind, maybe they are things you have not dealt with from your past.

This obviously, is not medical advice. If you feel severe pain or some other strong symptoms, you may need medical help. Don't hesitate to seek out such help if need be .

Just be yourself

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 08:18:10 GMT

Just be yourself

When I was 12 or 13 my pals and I started discovering girls. And discovered a conflict within ourselves. The pounding desire to connect and the sheer terror at the emotional cost of taking the risk that our feelings were not shared. I took the path of being „aloof“ and pretending not to be interested, which was a path I would take for a very long time and come to regret later. My friend, on the other hand, at least gave voice to this conflict by saying: I never know how to be.. to which the girls and others, whom he felt comfortable talking to would say: just be yourself. More than 30 years later, I am beginning to understand why this sentence is so difficult and yet the only one that really matters. Unfortunately, we live in societies that, from the very beginning, do everything to prevent us from being that just.

In the old days, western child rearing consisted mostly of corporal punishment. Do this, do that, or you'll get a whipping, or some other thing. While brutal, often the child was left with the option to, at the very least, think ill of it's parents and create an enemy outside of itself. We decided at some point that it wasn't good enough that our children pay lip service to our “ideals”, they had to really feel them. So we added another twist to the method. We created schools, where children learned right from wrong. They learned that they were incapable of finding the “right” for themselves, incapable of discovering truth by themselves, that they needed others, an authority, to tell them what those things were. They were somehow incomplete without the training that schools give them.

After a time, we discovered that if we get the children early enough, we no longer needed to hit them, they would be so filled with doubt towards themselves, because of the ideals that we preached, that no whip was required, they would, at least figuratively, whip themselves. We've gone so far with social media, that we create worlds, where we can be the “best version of ourselves” for others, so much so, that some become depressed, because someone's social media presence gets more likes than they do, or that someone's life looks better than theirs, even if only on facebook or instagram. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others or some ideal that is only an illusion. These ideas cause many problems in us. Addiction, allergies, physical pain, depression, and a whole host of other things.

So what's the answer? These things have trapped our thinking into a two dimensional projection of the world, as we are under constant stress and fight, flight or freeze reactions. A type of merry-go-round that has us stuck in the same simulations and films over and over again. The only way out, is to face the fear of the world as it is, and get off the merry-go-round, or exit the theater. Multi-dimensional perception, feeling, and thinking is the beginning. Language is a tool that was designed for communication between humans, but we use it as a way to distort perception. If we take a tree, for example, we see it's properties. Once we define it as a tree, a plant, a cypress, we have created a hologram of that tree in our mind, without actually having seen the particular tree being described to us. But what if someone thinks of a maple tree, when someone else says “tree”? The only true way to describe is to actually perceive. And to perceive with as many senses as possible.

If we can find a world not cluttered with too many words, where our language is fixed in the realms of our sensory thinking we can allow what remains of our self to exist. With time, if one continues to keep communicative constructs, like language, laws, morals, etc where they belong instead of dominating our thought processes, that self can develop more normally. This requires us to stay away from things like visions, goals, plans, etc. at least for a while. Too many of us follow visions and goals that we wouldn't have chosen, if we had not been forced to deny ourselves for so long. Within this process comes that acceptance that we are responsible for ourselves and only ourselves. Responsible to others, but not for others. Authenticity is another aspect that comes with this “journey”.

Authenticity's first steps include recognition of all of our feelings, and allowing ourselves to feel them, as well as, at some point, finding constructive outlets to express them. Only in a world, where we are in danger, is it required to suppress our feelings. Once the danger is passed, we are free to allow those feelings out. To shake off the state of emergence like a dog shakes off water.

Kai

Sat, 13 May 2023 10:59:47 GMT

All things are made of the same stuff.

We humans, especially those from western countries, like to view ourselves as existing outside of the world. We're here and the world is there. Even our religions speak of being in the world but not of it. While the passage from the christian bible was referring more to the world humans create around themselves, which is, in fact, only a miniscule part of the world. In the newest experiments in physics it was determined that the viewer somehow changes the results of the experiment. The scientist is not merely a neutral observer, but somehow connected to the things being done.

This is a reality that we humans seem to constantly try to escape. Maybe pride? maybe fear of life? Maybe something else?

The only real way to lead a whole life, once one has achieved internal integration, re-assumed responsibility for oneself, begun to harmonize with oneself, and then begun to trust life, is to see that the world is one, and we are a part of that one. In acceptance of that, we can begin to feel things changing in our world and surroundings. And find that deep connection between ourselves and life. Only then is a path towards wholeness open. Our intuition and extended kinesthetic sense begin to work far better if not clouded by the idea that there is some other thing out there.

I like to end my hypnosis sessions with a variation of a meditation we do in Bujinkan. Basically the meditation starts with an induction and then reduces perception to one of the five senses. I like to go through them all. Spend some time feeling where one is, the chair, one's clothing, the wind etc.. and just feel it. Then smell, then taste, then hearing.. after that a reorientation into the place where one is, then to spend a few minutes just observing one's surroundings. not identifying anything, not speaking to oneself, just seeing. And then you’ll see, there is no goal, there is no meaning, there is no purpose… life is itself all of these things.

Sha

Tue, 02 May 2023 05:00:22 GMT

In our world we continue to talk about success. Success has become an idol in western society, and is beginning to pollute the whole world. It is literally a cancer that is killing all that remains of our humanity, but we keep thinking, like the christian monks that used to whip themselves, if we just do this or that enough or tweek this or that enough, or "pimp" ourselves enough, we'll find the secret to success.

Pimp is a fitting word. We sell our bodies and life energy to the highest bidder and let them do with us what we want. What do we get in return? little or nothing, but some money and the feeling, however short-lived, of being a success.

This kind of thinking robs us of all living power within us, it binds us to things that we didn't really choose. And it mistakes identification for identity. To identify with something is like branding ourselves with a mark.. our identity is inherent even down to our very DNA.

Life is like a river that flows. If we learn to ride that river, we can flow with life. When things happen: like when we feel sad, depressed, angry, etc we have the ability to ask ourselves what is the message behind this feeling, this symptom, or whatever. Once we understand the message the symptom is giving us, we can deal with it appropriately. Or let it take it's course.

If we keep trying to define things we'll end up using our life force until we ultimately die a quick and painful death. Not ever really having lived, because a life that is constantly defined and affirmed by others is not our life but theirs. The life that is our life, where we flow and allow ourselves to develop over time, has true physical, spiritual, and emotional power.

A life, where we think we have to be someone, something, or look and act a certain way is giving away all that we have.

So how do we find this? The techniques are pretty simple, as they are not really "techniques". Like all others, try and engage your five senses.

Just sit in the park, and see, hear, smell, maybe even taste things. Don't tell yourself to do it, just do it. Feel yourself sitting on that bench or wherever. Feel the texture. Feel the things you body is touching. Do all of these things with as little noise from your inner chatterbox as possible. And then wait. Wait until you feel an impulse to do something, but don't examine what it is, don't ask, just do it. Keep this part simple.. i.e. Like where to go in the park, which plants to look at. If something "feels" interesting to look at, do it, again with as many senses as possible, and as little of that chatterbox as possible. Most of the words we speak to ourselves are from others anyway. If you can do this for a while in the park, you can slowly do it for longer and practice life this way. You'll find yourself in the things you do. And find which things you're doing because someone else told you to and which things come from you. If you're looking for a way not to feel sad, or sick, or only "good feelings", Kuji-in and the type of hypnosis that I do, will not help you. As only zombies only have "good feelings" all the time. Life is so much more than "success".

Toh

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 05:37:04 GMT

Toh

The mantra in third level of Kuji-in (om jitraashi yatra jivaratna swaha) speaks of “conquering the zodiac. Often there is confusion as to what this actually means. Too many of us think of this idea and automatically fall into our fight, flight, or freeze reactions. Incidentally those reactions are inborn, which means we are genetically predisposed to one of them as a modus operendi. This is an interesting thought to ponder when it comes to overcoming our zodiac.

The zodiac in it's many forms describes the basic personality traits of people based on when they were born. I personally never liked the ideas behind them.. first because they all seem so non-specific that they could describe anyone, and second I always hated someone telling me how I am. (that might give you a hint at my basic stress reaction). However, the goal of Toh (kuji-in's third mudra) is not overcoming some metaphysical zodiac sign per se, but in giving us freedom to live in harmony with ourselves and our world.

The first step of this transition, is of course, to be at peace. That is a powerful idea, which requires more contemplation. What is it to be at peace? There are many levels. First, if our breathing is calm, and our heart rate is calm long enough, our nervous system will eventually relax. Meaning our body will no longer exhibit the signs of fight, flight, or freeze. But is this enough? I say it isn't. The second, and more important, idea is to no longer be in a disassociated state. Meaning we no longer are looking at ourselves from somewhere else. But see, hear, feel, smell, taste from our own body. You might say this is a fine distinction, but ask many people who use chakras in their meditation how they view them, the talk about seeing themselves sitting.. and then viewing the chakras externally. This may help initially in learning where they are, but it creates disassociation.

The more difficult part of this, is to turn off the inner chatterbox long enough to allow it to be reintegrated into our senses. Too many of us are constantly “talking to ourselves”. Language is a tool originally intended to be used to communicate with others... and we too often use it to create the “others” in our mind. This has gone so deep, that a large portion of us, can no longer think without the aid of “words”. Language is a valuable tool, but hardly the most valuable. A test used by NASA found that most 4 and 5 year olds were at a genius level when it came to using imagination. 10 years later only a few percent. While the normative influence of the school systems plays a big role, I think the imagination killer of language does even more. Language encourages 2 dimensional thinking. If taken far enough, it will cause disassociation and stress. So many of use to language to “control” ourselves. That to do list, the things I have to remember and still forget. Instead of helping us, it creates a prison, from which most of us will never get free. The higher levels of Kuji-in should result in integration in to all that is... how is this possible if we are not even integrated with ourselves?

Kyo

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 04:50:32 GMT

Today's blog is about responsibility. Much talk and attention has been given to the concept of karma as well as cause and effect. So much so that we have begun to feel that we can affect the events in our surroundings simply by the way we feel and think. While I believe this is the case to a certain degree, I'm not really interested in discussing this here at any length. Too much weight is placed on these ideas, so that we feel we can control those things by "feeling" a certain way. If we simply change how we feel, hocus pocus our dreams come true and we live happily ever after. The other side of the control spectrum I like to call the machine shed. The doing crowd.. the philosophy there is: if I just do the right things, all will be well. Biohackers fall into this category. As well as many religious people. Check all the boxes and bingo, my soul is safe from damnation.

All of these things deny one main thing: life! Life is full of beauty, ugliness, pleasure, pain, joy, sadness, etc. From a very young age I understood that love and hate were not opposites, but two sides to the same coin.. their opposite is indifference. To live is to be responsible to control is suicide on the installment plan. Responsibility begins with the fundamental trust in ourselves and in life, and then accepting ourselves, our lives, and all those things entail. If we are sad, or tired, or jealous, or angry, etc and we pretend that we are not, because we feel that we should not be, we lose the ability to find the source of those feelings, and then to let them go, in due time. We also turn ourselves into a zombie. We say these feelings are not valid, and if we only feel good feelings, there won't be any ugliness. Trust in ourselves allows us to take responsibility for our anger (for example) and then use or channel it in a constructive way.. or, if faced with a real live threat, destructive way. I cannot be responsible for my anger, if I do not allow myself to feel it, I can only control it.. if I control it, it will find it's way into my body, tight muscles, digestive issues, headaches etc.. will result. Think of all those places where you hold tension or pain in your body.. ask yourself, if there is something in which you're not living out your responsibility fully, then breathe and accept your emotions. Allow yourself to be silent. Too many of us are constantly chattering away in our own mind.. as if there were two of us here. Breathe, inhabit, feel, taste, smell, hear, see your emotions and then breathe, inhabit, feel, taste, smell, hear, and see your responsibility for them, even if you do not want it.

Once this is established, it becomes easier to see what effect our states have on the things around us. And how they influence us. Only then do we realize that things like guilt and shame, are tools of someone or something that seeks to control. Quantum physicists have discovered that an atom essentially is nothing at it's core. That the structure is what makes it have mass and not it's "substance" Much like life the only way to see "the bottom" or "the inside" is to destroy it. Trying to control it also does the same thing.

Rin

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 07:55:36 GMT

Rin

So for my first Blog article I decided to tie several of my interests together. For me, as a professional musician, it is important to integrate different knowledge bases and structures in order to create a more wholistic approach to making music, and even living. I've spent the last several decades attempting to do just that. For those of you who don't know me, my first teachers in music were students of Arnold Jacobs and/or his direct students. Unfortunately, as I was ready to study with him himself, he passed away. I am no stranger to the axioms he used.

Two of them have helped me through many playing issues. 1. Paralysis by analysis. And 2. The intelligence of a human being is conceived to deal with the phenomena of life outside the body. These are more paraphrases than direct quotes. They are actually saying the same thing different ways. Constant or too much self-observation throws sand in the gears prohibiting any forward movement to a goal. While no self-oberservation can also prevent recognition of some elements that we might want to improve, too many of us tend to go the other direction.

Inherent in our society is the constant comparison of ourselves with others or some distorted concept of perfection… our world is like a fun house with it's mirrors. This causes an enormous amount of stress. Our first stress reaction includes the fight, flight, or freeze reaction and disassociation.

Disassociation is a state in which we no longer view the world through our own eyes, but through some perspective outside of ourselves. It is useful when a real danger is at hand, or to gain perspective for short periods, but long term it creates a split between ourselves and how we are in the world. Some like to use the word Avatar. I prefer projection, as Avatar is first and foremost a religious term used in Hinduism, and then was adapted in the IT world. Dissociation can also occur when we feel as if some grand purpose or type of perfection exists for our life. "doing or being" some great thing can only be measured by looking outside of ourselves in terms defined outside of ourselves. Which in turn always creates a conflict. A conflict between what we or others think should be, and what actually is or is possible.

Our self-help industry is so optimization focused that it no longer is about connection with ourselves, but making ourselves into superhumans. The first and fundamental connection with ourselves or rather staying connected with ourselves is paramount to any real achievement. As it is the only way to be certain we are not fighting someone else's demons.

Kuji-in is based on the experience of the vajra state. I'm not going to go into all the philosophical and metaphysical aspects of Vajra, as it can be discussed at great length. It's fundamental idea is: our essence or soul is unnamed, undefined, unlimited, and without purpose in this life. To experience this is similar to self-integration. We do not need a name or a definition to live.. Names, definitions, etc enslave us to ideas, when they go beyond their usefulness. We use words, definition, etc as tools to communicate but a thing is best conceived when it is experienced. The best description is to experience the thing with our senses. Too often those words enslave us. Today we use words like left-wing, right-wing, boomer, millennial, and thousands of others to tie ourselves and others to some preconceived definition. To identify ourselves with those labels can add yet another chain of slavery. To ourselves' and to others' definitions.

So back to Arnold Jacobs, his statement "the intelligence of a human being is designed to deal with the phenomena of life outside the body" is, in my opinion, incomplete. I would add, and smaller than oneself. While we can grasp things larger than ourselves, and understand that things larger than our comprehension exist, it is far better to use our cognitive functions to work on smaller things most, if not nearly all, of the time.

Our world (or at least the one in our minds) continues to hold up some narcissistic ideal version of ourselves, or others that simply does not and cannot exist. We identify ourselves with some sort of ideal or version or thing that is outside and in doing so, we create a projection of ourselves that quite simply is an attempt to shift responsibility and our very life force to something that is not alive, much like ancient cultures used an image or idol as a projection of their gods. Your true self is undefined, unnamed, without "purpose". An image, ideal, idol, or avatar simply creates a non-living projection of yourself. The ideals of our time use things like your ideal self, your optimized self, life hacks, etc in the same way the catholic church used things like indulgences, penance, saints etc to keep people enslaved to their power structure. The church had an innocence about it, as it used actual brute force to make people follow, today we use our ideals to enslave ourselves and turn ourselves into judge, jury, and executioner.

So what can help this situation? A connection with oneself. The end of the disassociated state. To feel, to see, to taste, to smell, and hear the things in life. Refusal to apply more than necessary definitions, and then definitions themselves. To see the world through our own eyes, and stop the constant self-observation. It starts with remembering that state as a child where you no longer were watching yourself and found yourself(so many say lost yourself) in the thing you were doing. That place is where one is autonomous (or at least more autonomous).. in flow, and alive.